Played the £110 double chance at Aspers  and busted in 10 minutes after arriving one hour late. First hand facing a capped range and holding the ace of diamonds I raised, what I took to be a blocker bet on the river and got called by a flush. Next hand I got QQ all in on a 10 high board to be called by K 10 who hit a king on the river and sent me to the rail. Fuck poker. OK I did 20K on one bad decision but the other hand I got 28BB in so good to be  rivered.

I rebought and  managed one double up slow playing AQ OOP on an Ace high board villain bet 3 streets with A9 to be given the bad news on the river. Folded two winning hands to bluffs and then got it all in with a squeeze with A10 suited v 33 and missed all the outs to bust. £220 down in 2hr 30…without a job I have better things to do with my money…done with the game until I have a job, new girlfriend and kitten..no more sitting at a table with a load of strangers trying to figure out if they know how to play the game or not.

I re-raised to 4,500 with KJ v 4 limpers and got two callers flop of 672 two hearts check check and I bet half pot one caller, king on the turn and he shoves. I fold KJ face up and he shows me Q8 of hearts for a flush draw. “It’s my first tournament” he said before I  folded…hard to play with people who have no idea what they are doing….I’d been there before in Aspers to be shown a set or KQ…they only play their hand, so the fold was good as far as I’m concerned as I’m only beating a bluff. If he had told me he was more experienced I’d have called as his bet made no sense.

Game is killing me…I need to take a long break and play it for fun in the future…I read the final chapter of Alexander Miller’s book and he agreed it’s a fuck of a game to make money at….and if you can beat the game you could beat better games in life for more money…the biggest loser at the table is the biggest winner…because if you beat the game that good you have wasted your life’s talents….

If I’d read 40 books and watched countless hours of videos on IT security I’d be earning £2K a day now…poker has given me moments…but it is a hobby not a career…I need more balance in my life.

I’ll take my talents elsewhere…for positive things art,writing, screenwriting, charity work etc.